Monday, May 17, 2010

May 2000- May 2010

Ten years have passed and I still miss Dad like it was the first day without him. I have anticipated the 10 year mark all year and here we are. River and I went up to his grave to say hello, and with everything going on in my life right now it was overwhelming. I told River little stories about his Grandpa. How funny he was, how smart he was, how mad he used to make me and my sweet two year old hugged me as I left tear stains on the headstone.

At Dad's funeral there were hundreds and hundreds of people there. I had never seen so many flowers in my life. I have never felt so much love as I did that day. Each one of my siblings wrote him a letter and I recently found the one I wrote as a 14 year old girl....

May 2000

Dear Daddy,

Words cannot express how much I love you, and how much I will miss you.

Thank you for all the memories you have given to me, I will forever cherish them.

Living my life without knowing you would be like life without sunshine. You have taught me so much. You always laughed at us when we got really mad at you for a stupid reason, and now looking back I should have laughed with you. You were always positive and excited about everything. Although you may have started hundreds of different things, and never once did you finish them, you always taught me to try everything that interested me.

As I grew up you always made me feel special, even when I wasn’t the best at something, you always encouraged me to stick with it. These past couple years have been the hardest for me. I never saw myself as others did. I was wasting my talents, and gifts, which you worked so hard to help me develop, and you never did complain. I’m ready to make you proud of me, I will always try my hardest to do my best, and accept myself for who I am.

You have given me the greatest gift anyone could be given, and that’s the gospel.

You raised me knowing that I can be with my family for eternity, and that I can be with my heavenly father again. I have the faith that you are in heaven looking down and protecting our family.

I also wanted to tell you that there are many people that love you, and care for you. There are many people that are very proud of you. There are many people that admire you as a person, and a father. And I am one of those many people.

Thank you for your hard work as a father, and a friend.

I love you very much.

Good-bye for now, until we meet again,

Love Always,

Your Pookey

Kelli C. Rasmussen

This is my letter to him 10 years later...

May 2010

Dear Daddy,

I love you and I miss you. I know you have been with me over the past ten years. These ten years have been a rollercoaster. I have really struggled without you here, although you left me an amazing Mom that has been supportive and loving through all the struggles I have had.

I am pretty sure you handpicked River in heaven to be mine. He reminds me of you. He laughs at me when I'm mad. I am still working on laughing more at things that are stupid.

I still hope I make you proud. It has taken me quite a few years, but I am living again, not just walking through life, but actually living. I am happy with the person I am. FINALLY! I am excited to better myself and learn from those around me. I stopped singing after you died, I stopped playing basketball, I stopped a lot of things, but now I sing in the car, I find myself shooting hoops with River and that desire to do the things you helped me with is back.

I still look forward to the day I get to wrap my arms around you as we reunite as a family for eternity, but I still have a lot to do down here, and you have a lot of work to do up there. So watch me close, you are still my Daddy and I need you more than ever.


Your Pookey

Monday, May 3, 2010

10 Things to remember my Dad....

It's hard to believe that it has been 10 years since my Dad passed away... so much has changed yet I feel him with me with every changing event, big or small.

To honor him I have chosen 10 things to do in honor of him.

1. Go back to school
Dad was a big believer in getting your education... after many regrets when it comes to school, I am ready to embark on this adventure. This will be happening this fall, more details to come.

2. Climb Mt. St. Helens
Dad climbed Mt. St. Helens a few times and I was always too young to go. It's my turn to do it, even if I hate hiking, it will be a great experience.

3. Go on a family vacation! Disneyland here we come!
Some of my fondest memories from my childhood were on our family vacations. We have not been on a family vacation as a whole family since he has passed and it's about time, but this time instead of 7 people, there will be 16.

4. Go to a Mariners game
Again, the many times he went I was always too young to go.

5. Run the Starlight parade... or just go to it.
This was something I remember doing as a family a few times and I loved watching it! I still remember some high school, band kid barfing a few feet away from me. My Dad also ran the Portland Marathon and let's be realistic here.... that's just not going to happen for me, so I can possibly handle a 3 mile run, and that's only if people will do it with me!

6. Go camping
This is something I have never done and I blame my Dad for it. We always stayed in hotels, never tents. Apparently he got tried of all the camping he had to do as a kid so that's why we never did it. It has benefited me in some ways, I work in a hotel now, and I can remember every hotel room I have ever stayed in. Now at the age of 24, I am ready to do something different and enjoy a nights sleep on the hard, rocky ground.

7. Learn to change the oil in my car
This was something he always did, and I would love to say I know how to do it... anyone know how and want teach me?

8. Put together a memory book
At his funeral people wrote down memories of him, and we have them in a box. I would love to have copies for myself to read how many lives he touched.

9. Do something kind for the people who have helped me these past 10 years
This will take some brainstorming, but it's never too late to tell people you appreciate them.

10. Watch his favorite movies
Mrs. Doubtfire, Field of Dreams, etc. I am a big movie fan, so what better way to connect with him than through movies.

I will follow up with these goals when I have completed them. This is something I am really looking forward to!