Ten years have passed and I still miss Dad like it was the first day without him. I have anticipated the 10 year mark all year and here we are. River and I went up to his grave to say hello, and with everything going on in my life right now it was overwhelming. I told River little stories about his Grandpa. How funny he was, how smart he was, how mad he used to make me and my sweet two year old hugged me as I left tear stains on the headstone.
At Dad's funeral there were hundreds and hundreds of people there. I had never seen so many flowers in my life. I have never felt so much love as I did that day. Each one of my siblings wrote him a letter and I recently found the one I wrote as a 14 year old girl....
Words cannot express how much I love you, and how much I will miss you.
Thank you for all the memories you have given to me, I will forever cherish them.
Living my life without knowing you would be like life without sunshine. You have taught me so much. You always laughed at us when we got really mad at you for a stupid reason, and now looking back I should have laughed with you. You were always positive and excited about everything. Although you may have started hundreds of different things, and never once did you finish them, you always taught me to try everything that interested me.
As I grew up you always made me feel special, even when I wasn’t the best at something, you always encouraged me to stick with it. These past couple years have been the hardest for me. I never saw myself as others did. I was wasting my talents, and gifts, which you worked so hard to help me develop, and you never did complain. I’m ready to make you proud of me, I will always try my hardest to do my best, and accept myself for who I am.
You have given me the greatest gift anyone could be given, and that’s the gospel.
You raised me knowing that I can be with my family for eternity, and that I can be with my heavenly father again. I have the faith that you are in heaven looking down and protecting our family.
I also wanted to tell you that there are many people that love you, and care for you. There are many people that are very proud of you. There are many people that admire you as a person, and a father. And I am one of those many people.
Thank you for your hard work as a father, and a friend.
I love you very much.
Good-bye for now, until we meet again,
Kelli C. Rasmussen
This is my letter to him 10 years later...
I love you and I miss you. I know you have been with me over the past ten years. These ten years have been a rollercoaster. I have really struggled without you here, although you left me an amazing Mom that has been supportive and loving through all the struggles I have had.
I am pretty sure you handpicked River in heaven to be mine. He reminds me of you. He laughs at me when I'm mad. I am still working on laughing more at things that are stupid.
I still hope I make you proud. It has taken me quite a few years, but I am living again, not just walking through life, but actually living. I am happy with the person I am. FINALLY! I am excited to better myself and learn from those around me. I stopped singing after you died, I stopped playing basketball, I stopped a lot of things, but now I sing in the car, I find myself shooting hoops with River and that desire to do the things you helped me with is back.
I still look forward to the day I get to wrap my arms around you as we reunite as a family for eternity, but I still have a lot to do down here, and you have a lot of work to do up there. So watch me close, you are still my Daddy and I need you more than ever.